If you’re here because you’ve caught yourself comparing your kids’ drawings, you’re in very good company. It happens in the most normal, sweet, chaotic moments: two siblings at the kitchen table, papers everywhere, and an adult (me included, on tired days) blurts out something like, “Wow, hers looks so real!” before we’ve even thought it through.

The good news: you don’t have to become a flawless, never-slip-up grown-up. What helps is building a few simple habits—ones that let you notice each child’s choices, give them equivalent space to be seen, and steer clear of naming one child as “the artist of the family.” That’s the heart of it.

Because when a child draws, they’re not only making a picture. They’re trying out ideas, practicing control, telling stories, copying what they love, and sometimes just enjoying the squeak of a marker or the drag of a crayon. In our house, two kids can be “doing art” side by side while actually doing completely different (and equally valuable) things.

Why comparing siblings’ drawings backfires (even when you mean well)

Most adults compare as a shortcut. We’re trying to encourage. We’re trying to compliment. We’re trying to keep things calm. But those side-by-side comparisons can quietly create problems:

  • The “artist” label gets sticky. One child feels pressure to keep impressing, and the other starts to wonder why they should bother.
  • Kids start drawing for approval. Instead of exploring, they keep checking in: “Is this good?” every couple of minutes.
  • Sibling dynamics get messy. The drawing turns into a contest, not a moment of play and connection.

You may have seen it: one child is drawing along happily, then hears praise for their sibling and suddenly stops. That little pause is helpful information. It doesn’t mean anyone is a bad parent or grandparent—it just means the environment is shaping how safe it feels to create.

How to avoid comparing your kids’ drawings in everyday life

You don’t need a big family meeting. Tiny shifts in what you say, where you hang art, and how you respond can change the whole mood.

1) Swap “better” comments for curiosity

Instead of ranking (“This one is the best!”), aim for curious noticing. It’s warm, it’s specific, and it keeps the focus on what the child was trying to do.

Try questions like:

  • “Tell me what’s happening in your picture.”
  • “What part was the most fun to draw?”
  • “How did you choose these colors?”
  • “Is there a story behind this character?”
  • “What would happen next if this picture kept going?”

One thing I’ve learned (growing up around art, and now watching my own kids create) is that you can be equally enthusiastic without being equally specific. One child might want to give you a ten-minute explanation of the dragon’s entire backstory. Another might say, “It’s just a truck,” and move on. Both are fine. Curiosity meets them where they are.

2) Give each child “equivalent” display space (not identical)

Kids notice fairness in a very visual way. If one sibling’s work always ends up on the fridge while the other’s ends up in a pile, you’ll feel it in the room—sometimes immediately.

Equivalent doesn’t have to mean perfectly matching frames or the exact same number of pieces. It simply means each child can clearly see: my work belongs here too.

Easy options at home:

  • The fridge split: left side for one child, right side for the other.
  • Clipboards on the wall: one clipboard per child, hung at the same height.
  • A rotating “gallery”: one shelf or string line where you rotate pieces every week.
  • Personal folders or boxes: each child has a place to store “keep forever” art.

It’s a small thing, but it matters: when a grandparent visits and immediately sees two clipboards—each with a fresh drawing—it quietly signals, “We’re not judging. We’re enjoying.”

3) Stop calling one child “the artist” (even as a compliment)

This one is sneaky. “She’s the artist of the family” sounds sweet, but it can lock kids into roles:

  • The “artist” may feel like they can’t draw something goofy, messy, or experimental anymore.
  • The other child may decide, “Art isn’t my thing,” and step away.

A gentler swap is to name the moment, not the identity:

  • Instead of: “You’re such an artist.”
  • Try: “You really took your time with those details.”
  • Instead of: “Your brother can’t draw like you.”
  • Try: “I notice you both chose different ideas today.”

In our home, kids relax when praise is about effort, choices, or storytelling. It feels safer—especially on those days when a child is frustrated because the picture in their head isn’t showing up on the page yet.

4) Handle “Who did it better?” without turning it into a lecture

Siblings sometimes invite comparison on purpose. They’re testing the waters. If a child asks, “Whose is better?” you can answer without picking a winner.

Try one of these quick replies:

  • Reflect the feeling: “You really want your drawing to be noticed.”
  • Name the difference: “These are two different kinds of drawings—yours is about action, and hers is about patterns.”
  • Offer a choice: “Do you want feedback on the part you’re proud of, or the part you want to change?”
  • Make it story-based: “Tell me what you want me to understand when I look at it.”

This keeps the door open for growth without turning the moment into a scoreboard.

Create routines that make comparison less likely

Sometimes the simplest way to stop comparing siblings’ art is to adjust the setup. A few household rhythms can do a lot of heavy lifting.

Make “solo art time” normal

Not every creative moment needs to be shared. A small routine that works well is giving each child occasional solo time—ten minutes while the other helps set the table, takes a bath, or plays nearby.

When kids aren’t always creating side by side, adults also stop doing side-by-side evaluations without even realizing it.

Try shared materials that don’t reward “skill”

Some supplies naturally invite comparison (like trying to draw “realistic” animals). It helps to mix in materials where there isn’t an obvious “best.” In our family, this is where my wife’s craft-loving heart shines—she’ll set out something simple and suddenly everyone’s experimenting instead of competing.

Accessible, low-pressure ideas:

  • Oil pastels or chunky crayons: great for bold color and movement.
  • Stickers + markers: kids build scenes quickly; storytelling becomes the focus.
  • Scrap collage: old magazines, packaging, paper scraps, glue stick.
  • Water + paintbrush “drawing” outside: on a wall or sidewalk—temporary and freeing.

The funny thing is, when the activity is more about experimenting, grown-ups naturally comment on process: “You tried three textures!” instead of “Yours is nicer.”

What to say when family members compare (grandparents, visitors, friends)

Even if you’re being mindful, someone else may compare your children’s drawings out loud. Usually it’s not mean—it’s habit. You can redirect gently, without embarrassing anyone.

Helpful phrases to keep in your pocket:

  • “We’re trying to focus on each kid’s choices—can you ask them about their picture?”
  • “They’re working on different things. This one is telling a story, and this one is exploring color.”
  • “Let’s let them show you what they want you to notice.”

If you want a super-simple script for guests, this is the one: “Tell them what you see, then ask a question.” It works more often than you’d think.

This tiny ritual helps families stop comparing kids’ art because it builds fairness right into the environment.

  1. Pick two equal display spots (two clipboards, two frames, two magnets, two pieces of tape on the wall).
  2. Each child chooses one piece to display—no adult picking.
  3. Do a 60-second “artist talk” for each child. The adult asks two questions:
    • “What do you want us to notice?”
    • “What part felt important or fun?”
  4. Rotate weekly (same day each week helps).

That’s it. It turns art into connection instead of scoring—and it keeps the moment screen-free, which is often when our family feels most together.

If you’ve already compared… you can repair it

If you’ve said something like “Your sister is better at drawing,” you haven’t ruined everything. You can course-correct in a very human way.

  • “I realize what I said sounded like a competition. That’s not what I want.”
  • “I love seeing how you draw. What are you working on today?”
  • “Can you show me the part you like most?”

Kids don’t need perfect adults. They need adults who can notice, adjust, and keep showing up with warmth.

Let their drawings tell different stories

One child might draw tiny, careful shapes. Another might fill the page with wild color. Neither one is a problem to fix. They’re simply two different ways of being in the world—and both deserve room on the table.

Next time both siblings slide their drawings over to you at the same time, try this: take one breath, find one specific choice in each picture, and ask one curious question per child. You’ll often feel the room soften—and you may notice they stay with their work longer, because they feel seen for their picture, not compared against someone else’s.